AA263 - "Nothing" Is The Most Expensive Word In Your Career

So picture this. Your boss leans in and asks, what need from me? And you go, nope, I'm all good. We're all set. And congratulations, you just turned down free money. And that I got this little reflex. It's most expensive sentence that will say your career. And most us [UH] we just say multiple times week without blinking. if nobody ever told you that replying that question with I got this comes with an expensive price tag, then today is your day. So you're telling me Brian, your boss is standing there with a blank signed check hand over and asking how much. And your answer is nah, I'm good that's I'm saying. And the part I learned hard way is that check doesn't wait around. So pass on at once and your boss signs it over to the next person who happens be next person that asks pass few times. And now your boss stops writing checks altogether. Oh boy. So welcome back annual. And if this is your first time, welcome. I'm host product manager Brian Orlando and this my -host Enterprise business agility leader and the baron of the blockers himself, Mr. Obattell. can subscribe. So that's right. Yes, definitely. Like subscribe. if you're the person who hears what you need for me and instantly says no, nothing. I'm good. I know your pain. OK, I did that years. I still catch myself doing that is a personal feeling. That's why we're having this podcast. So it took me long time understand that it's not humility or strength. It's a, it's habit that picked up working places that taught me that asking for anything was dangerous. Okay, so maybe you've had boss that use your needs against you. Maybe you grew up the 70s 80s were figured out was the culture day, mantra day Maybe nobody ever sat down and helped you unlearn bad habits. Doesn't really matter how got here [UH] You're here. You're here now. And we're to argue about today because that's what we do so if nothing is expensive, Let's start with why. That's we're doing. Let me tell question. We're starting little I'm going be proud us. little Simon Sinek. Why? Let's start with why your brain defaults to nothing. I'm good. Okay. Somewhere in your career you internalized a lie that a good employee figures out alone that a, a strong employee asking for help. strong employee is the same as admitting that you cannot hack it. That lie is masqueraded as professionalism. Professionalism. Oh, that's that's it's called. That's it's actually called. It's a slow leak in the in back tire where got nail but like refuse to fix it. So like you just keep losing pressure every other day and then one day it all catches up you And you're stuck on the side the road. That's, that's what this is. That's what this is. Yeah. So [UH] listen Steelman right away this podcast. Steelman, some orgs punish the ask [UH] I've been in those works. I have to. And I think recognize if you're in one those works. If you are and you recognize that it's probably too early for this podcast. But hey, guys, keep your resume updated because never the right place for you to be. It's never too early for keep your resume updated. You should keep updated often, often and always, always and often. but You know, good one that want throw here is the cynic point of top performers. Figure out without bothering. They top performers figure out you only were top performer, you would just coast through water like Michael Phelps. No help needed if were top performer [UM] And if you're an organization that rewards heroes, you're more likely to want to do this because that's how get ahead in such places. Right feeds on itself. funny thing about those heroes is you never are exposed to the entire true story. You know, the true story like just little [UH] just little alone for my parents. And they just, know, you know, million dollars whatever. That's right. Yes. Even Jeff Bezos know hundreds thousands dollars from his like his dad was dentist something like that. like lending him like 300000 dollars start. the, you know, like 90s. So like hundred thousand dollars 90s was like a, a bajillion doggie coins or whatever. Yeah. what are good steelman points [UH] we have that like aren't helpful aren't helpful even if you do get ahead, you're really not building your true skill sets So maybe you've got manager rewards you. Right. And then along in the same work, maybe along comes another manager who doesn't maybe even punishes for, you know, wanting go alone and maybe failing or just wanting to take credit. Perceived credit from others. Right That's never good thing. Right? You say you're a team player and yet you kind of your behavior shows something different. So yeah, when you have these managers[UH] you watch out. The the practitioner rings true for me is[UH] well Brian, you're just, you're just salty. just one boss. That's not a, that's not statistical representation of all corporate American all workplaces. That was just one place and one time, you know[UH] which wasn't one place one time because I'm like, well, what about this? What about this? about this? know, like, yeah, just one place there. just one place. It's always ever one place one time, one place at time And so because never learn from that you think, oh, know, it's better other side. go someplace else. They're known for their culture, so can't be the same. Right? be different. then before you know it, get slapped around the face again. That field [UH] I mean that's the only place be. The that field called statistics. And we just throw out all outliers until get numbers we want. That's what learned'm a data scientist now. I do math. Awesome We don't talk about data scientists go going away. Every nobody's Internet talking about that. It's true. Anyway, thanks for coming tangent the Like figure alone ridiculous. know that like that's how good people drown quietly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. mean precise ask actually signals ownership because the flip side that, we can talk about, know there's another place where we talk about this, but right now, if you don't, if don't ask, then the perception is from your leadership or management is you aligned with them well or you don't communicate well. That would be Well, yeah, exactly. Or it's repeat message from you. No, I'm good. No, I'm good. It's like in between those messages, they see that you're flailing. Right? And yet you keep saying you're good. That's got count against you your reviews or whatever else. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flailing, in silence that could easily be perceived as failure. mean, would failure. Yeah, yeah, I could be line that one And then to the bad bosses that that punish, you know, quote neediness. You know that that one's, mean, but but like if they're tracking data and you're not and you're one asking going used against you. Like the data used against you. So like the other way you should be tracking it before they track it. that comes clunky, but don't have a better suggestion than that. You got someone using data weaponizing against you and work for them come on. The only thing can say is few seconds ago we said what the remedy was[UH] Yeah, yeah. Keep your resume updated. Keep their resume updated. right. So there are some takeaways here Takeaway The away starts with stop hiding your blockers to look competent and start naming them to look in control. Oh boy, if I had nickel for every time that I worked with someone that was hiding the blockers or doing the song and dance around like when big meeting doing the song dance around blockers like oh well we didn't quite deliver this, but know, we, we learned lot. We did whatever is like yeah, but still got blockers. You know, worst of those [UH] variations is when someone, if it's a program or something, they'll just say we did our part. The problem is we didn't get what we wanted this other[UH] Listen, customers don't hear about that. They don't care how many teams you have or what handoffs you have. Be far better to own it and say leave this with us. I'll get back you. right. And that's perceived message that you're owning and least for time being, even if it's temporary. So yeah, definitely. What block block am I hiding right now? Great question to introspect with you for you know for yourself. Yeah, can't tell you. I think about early my career like lead. So you got like delegated some where like was team management responsibilities from manager that you would take and would run with. Right. And one them was the hiring. Like did all hiring for the team. But but the more important one was crossteam coordination because that stuff was like I mean it was a whole job in and of itself crossteam coordination. that was exactly you just said is I would have to own a problem and go walk from desk desk desk. To make sure got resolved and nobody dropped it and didn't stall out. And know, mean, to truly own the problem that wasn't necessarily all yours. Right? No, I would say very little mine. So customer perspective, that builds trust between them you. Right? That's the, that's the the oil. guess that trust is the oil that you know loops machine. Yeah. Yeah. So I have have two things here which is what what block are hiding now And does my boss actually punish? Asks those the things have to. Those the introspective kind questions to come out section. So in your next one, you can ask What's something that you, you, bosses, you, the employee talking about. What's something that you wish that I had come you with sooner? You also had another one from boss's perspective that we talked about earlier that would fit in here too. So from from section one take, my real takeaway to remember that a sharp ask is flex. It's not confession. Yeah. one that thinking about from the, the, the boss's point view is train yourself. You, the employee, train yourself to when they ask you, know, you need? Train yourself to hear what would help me to perform higher level. Yeah. So you hear that from as if it's coming from them like what would what would help you perform at higher level. And that reframe is quite powerful because at that point you're not going say, oh yeah, I'm good because know, think about things that you really can use help with. Yeah. So yeah, that shift changes everything my opinion. Okay, so us know comments what is something that you've struggled through alone just so wouldn't have to ask for help group therapy session time in the comments. Oh, that's I'm saying. So for each one you name, I'll name one too. That's that's this well goes deep. So let's say that you've made peace with asking. You've listened to what said. You've taken heart and everything is great now. OK, so there is worst trap that is waiting that talk about. So boss asks, you're finally willing to to talk. And then brain says nothing. Nothing. I got nothing. That's right. That's right. got nothing That's what this this this slide should have been called. I got nothing way. So you've gotten over the shame around asking things from your boss. Now the mechanics. Here's rule. Never answer nothing when someone budget or authority or connections asks what you need from me Remember like I'm good. That is that's not humble. Like that's it's a wrong answer. It's totally leaving tool on table that was handed you. Handle first business edge first. This like leaving a second blank check on the table. That's right. so in the Marty Kagan transform book because we did a whole podcast on that with with Ed. was arguing as a 172 review of transformed by Marty Kagan [UH] from July 10th, 2024. Well, almost two years ago. it's nice So when did that one[UH] I believe in the book Marty Kagan says well the job of modern manager is basically just coaching the employees and making sure they continually develop and you know, basically hiring too. So like that's a pretty straightforward job description. Yeah. Coach and take care of your people. Yeah. sort aligns with you know, one the agile principles too, right? You know, hire motivated individuals and get out their way. I'm paraphrasing, but effectively that. Right. And other, the other source is[UM] L. David Martin says fix the environment where your people can excel and then get out way. Right. Trusting to do job. Right. Yeah. Oh boy. That is that's far cry from the cynical steelman point here which says Listen, I hired smart people. Don't bother me. Go figure it out. Yes, yes. Yeah, mean and like all this like one on one, the Jensen Wang's world right here this category, all these one ones, this manufactured need like it's just like we're too smart for that. In Jensen's case, it's one on 60, isn't it? It's one on 60. That's right which is a, it's a, it's movie. see. Oh goodness. Yeah Listen, the boss wants something when they ask you, what need? Right? So try align yourself with why it that you're being asked that? What it that they could possibly, you know, be coming to the table with but then immediately swivel to do I have everything I need succeed what I need regardless of where coming from? It doesn't have to come from boss. It could be something that you need from somebody else with within or you know, outside org. But mention it your boss and you'd be surprised. Good bosses say go talk to so -and -so. right. Suddenly you have direction. least can chase down You're jumping ahead package little bit. That was one things like, yeah, the intro to other people that you otherwise would be basically cold calling. get [UH] also not even know who to reach out to if your work large or you're new or if you're new. Right? Yeah. Yeah. This great one It's like the cynic is like doing nobody favors. Like cynic is like this almost like burnt out manager this point or somebody that doesn't want to succeed. That would be the arguing point of the cynic that the one that I want to call out would be the practitioner In this case, says like sometimes we're like we're our full state. We don't need anything. Get, get my way. Get way, bro. Yeah. You know, the worst one would be the academic because they're just like playing my games over here being like you know, the reciprocity is like you can ask, you can demand too much and kind overwhelm and know, you're overasking. So you're being seen as needy or high maintenance. And like I, I'm curious what your take one because I feel the person that says that number one is they're looking at it and like a like sanitized viewpoint like outside viewpoint whereas like if we have relationship, shouldn't the relationship. You should know when you're demanding too much the relationship. That's just like relationship thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the academic in this viewpoint, if you have managers that fall into this category, you'll know this because these the people that will bring you on side let's say you have standing one ones every often. Right? They being on side and say I got nothing this time. Yeah. So the framing, I got nothing. So we'll cancel our one on one. Right. If you see that and again, you see repeatedly, it tells you something. Right? Because not caring about what you want. They're just saying, need my time back. We did whole episode on ones like now now. Why one one still matter and why you should have them? It was from June 4th, 2025 oh, look that. Almost a year ago. Yeah, are you Angle to 15? little over year ago. Yeah, yeah know talked about. Yeah, did talk about Jason Wang that one. I wonder if want to wonder talked about anyway. Yeah. Whether you're product manager, team lead, individual contributor or whether you own a snappy leather jacket not Owning your one one agenda is crucial for career development. That's the story just said. It's like your manager is got nothing for today. Let's cancel it. Right? yeah, But it's not, it's not really their meeting. It's really your meeting to bring the agenda. And if you really have nothing now, you're this category. just pointed ,don't don't do that. Don't I got nothing what need me this week? Nothing. And then get some practical tips a little bit later. But you should never have blank piece paper or whatever. Blank mind for your one got, whole category. If So the busy practitioner already talked about that Sometimes don't need anything anything. We'll talk about that later. Let's keep that mind later. So let's go on to Like I'm fine. I'm good. I got nothing like almost never 100 percent true. Like that, like I've been in tons workplaces and me on regular basis, especially when I'm like trying jam out some development stuff. don't want to come out of my zone right now. That's that means. That means I don't think I'm too busy right now. Leave me alone. Like me put if could push meeting off couple hours something like that and come back you on my time. But the scheduled time on the on this calendar. OK, so again, let's put pin that one because to come back that one later podcast. OK, OK. If you don't relationship with your manager, where can be hey, I'm in the zone right now let know when you to log off for the day. Let get last 10 minutes your day. We'll come back that. I got whole category this podcast just for that one. But the other ones that are here, perspective, the manager scoreboard in your organization is your entire team's output or their, you know, department or however you're right. you saying hey, I'm good. I don't need help with anything is keeping their scorecard down basic you're dragging team down because they're not, they don't anything by themselves. Right? Yeah, they don't. Exactly. And could, you from from being a manager, had eight people my department that hired for and I managed. I, there was no individual there was individual metrics because that workplace was crap. But there is no individual metrics on me. They're all my team's metrics. So they're all like separated by a layer or two. Like I can roll in and impact one or two if I want to. But I can't I can't personally be present and help like push buttons for every right now. That's like that's another podcast that I've been wanting do while, but I can't. I can't It's probably one have guest because my experiences are so old now because was like I had my product management career came after that. Right? So like I probably wouldn't able remember great specific examples. Be better to find somebody who's know more current. Sure. With that with that experience. But I do remember that is like I went from I can touch everything and have a direct impact on everything to now I have influence as impact on everything. And you know, unblock. But if everyone's super busy and has no time to tell me where I can be effective, now I'm going get myself trouble. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So if we're have takeaways in this section, I'm say takeaways section[UH] stop. Kind why I'm doing William Shatner. Stop treating what, what you need as pleasantry and start treating it as an open checkbook? Going back to the opening podcast. which is you never answer nothing and you name one real need. And if you can't name real need, this is what was say. you can't name real need because you're too busy whatever, you promise by the end day, I'll deliver you a need or something. know, me get back you. Give couple hours delay. delay rather saying no, get you next time. Yeah, this more likely to happen you know, if you're caught unaware because you have a regular one one whatever format it is, right, you have time until next one. So as and when you think things, just keep a notepad handy somewhere, whether it's your machine or actual notepad whatever is I personally just use sticky notes and write down things that talk about with my boss and I stick those the side my monitor. So when I'm speaking them, they're there as pointers. There go. You don't, you don't even know but you're already advancing us in the agenda. So that the main thing remember in this section is never let nothing be your final answer. Yeah. Yeah. That's main thing though. Get these takeaways. Forget everything talked about. But just remember that one when boss asked you nothing or got, I'm good. Never answer. Yeah. OK. let us know comments when's the last time your boss asked you what you needed and you blinked what. And also if can if you remember like what should you have asked for. Right. And in between how did that work out for you. right. That's If you if don't mind saying that Now the second that you start asking for things on purpose in corporate environment, someone's to call it manipulation. That person might even be me [UM] I put that one. know. did back after I was yeah, manipulated communication there or whatever. so [UH] if our deprecating. yeah, I advice is always have ask, let's deal with the guilt that some people might feel about that. OK there's a 250 year old move where you ask someone for a small favor and they end up liking you more for it. It has name. It's called Benjamin Franklin Effect. OK, people hear that hear their head that it's like manipulation tactic. I'm pretty sure that this was mentioned in the Robert Cialdini influence book as one the influence tactics that and they might recoil because they might think, it's manipulative. OK. And again in arguing agile 235 October 28th 2025 changing your try. So people hear message adaptive versus manipulative communication we talked about this, this topic that met. So people will hear about the Benjamin Franklin effect and think, when you make small requests of people, then there's like a psychological thing that goes along where like they want to please you and they regard you in higher esteem because of that exchange because you're asking for things and that that's real documented thing. I'm not go off like showing citations that kind stuff Everyone can go read about it themselves. Yeah But it's [UH] the oldest most honest relationship glue that we have and refusing to use it does not signal that you are principled. OK, it just leaves you isolated. Right? Refusing utilize it. Yeah. So this is a the Franklin autobiography 1791 right where rival lends him a rare book and lasting friendship follows. There's a quote from that book He he that has once done you kindness will be more ready to do another than he whom yourself have obliged you yourself. Yeah, yeah, that makes lot of sense. Yeah, right, right. It would make more sense if could quote properly. There's also Jacker Landy landing 1969 human relations [UH] study that favor raises liking. And this was in a clinical environment. believe that to increase his liking for recipient of the favor where they, where they tested this lab But again, this is a well -worn effect that can read about. You see this, you know, quite often like in even kindergarten, right? Kids that share their lunch with somebody else or give someone candy This is known thing. It's human trait or behavior, not trait behavior. Yeah, it's And and also the other one that's like a darker pattern where like rewards that are infrequent and unpredictable in frequency like hacks the human psyche to get people do things over and over again. Yeah, like there's lot little little like the Robert Shield. Any influence book is pretty good because it talks about all these little patterns. And that book will give you all the citations and studies all that stuff. absolutely. But like be prepared because like even audiobook is like 12 hours like it's a big deal. Yeah, it's deal But like again, we're not trying to. This not the. This episode for like familiarity, the familiarity with these things. It's not episode where we normally do or we're going into citations and kind of picking them. Yeah. the steelman and yes, there's steelman here. Believe not, the cynic here is say, oh, you're try to get them invested so you can work them over later that's what I'm talking about. boy. Oh boy giggity. Oh goodness gracious. mean, is most cynical take, isn't it? Like really is. You you have no trust on something. Yeah, how dare you have actual human empathetic relationships. dude. Chill out, man. Crazy, isn't it? Yeah. Well, look, least least it good old college try Don't just write people off from the beginning saying[UH] this try use me. You don't know that. That's a. Yeah, it's a cynical take, but think it's also one that's pretty prevalent out there. What about the practitioner of it feels gross to ask[UH] quid pro quo feels gross. Yeah, think that one I'm a little bit more kind of tolerant to because if feels gross, what you have do is just simply roll your sleeves and say, yeah, I'm deal with this anyway. And I'm not expecting anything There is no Quid Pro Quo for me personally. But happens, happens. Yeah. Right. you. tell you about moving out from working for tech teams and work and working in product. And also when I started working real, real close sales for the first time my career. really started understanding like sales, just product management. But without the technical work and with bigger commission. Oh boy And like and with money for doing anyway. Right. was so weird this I had get over myself in my career with this because cold calling people don't know or whatever send them messages what know emails or know approaching them at conferences or you know finding out when people be places and then going with your product with your team whatever. Like that also could feel gross or slimy or whatever say. like listen, that's how that's relationships get built. That's how that's how sales get made. 110 percent. Yeah. So [UH] yeah, I agree with that. deliberately protect folks. That's hard to protect. It is hard because they like to think that you know they have everything takes to make things happen. Right. But we always need that. So position yourself in a place where other people likely be that you want something from that can feel like this. Right. But end day, without that, you're not get anywhere. So just, you know, suck up. Go there, do it and don't come across as well. know, that person didn't help me, so won't help them That doesn't weigh well all. Yeah. Listen, like salt, so like to say back up that salt back up that dump truck salt and just dump on me. All right. Listen, when someone says, oh, playing psychological tricks like at that point they've decided that there's no way the relationship can be genuine [UH] sorry to make. Yeah, must be fake. what like? what relationship is genuine at that point? yeah, right. know that that's stretch argument from my perspective. I will say, but also again from someone came from tech teams who jumped over to travel and work with sales the sales process in product yeah, you can look at it that way. oh, these relationships not genuine. Or be like these people have problem and all rest products suck and our product is good. [UH] even if our product's not good now, we get great team and we can improve it to make it the best prior of world world class product market leader whatever. And you're just it's a perspective that you're locked into that for some really. Why? Why even locked that perspective? How did even get how get here is what I'm saying. Where's Mike Miller [UH] you here? I know my Mike Miller and my Bill Cosby are very close together. They're dangerously close together. do have say. Do you have some jello? Oh like if the need is real, you're not working anyone. That's that's if I'm dismiss the sole category it's a need for real. Do you really need? Did you really need something? Yeah, it's not fake then. Right. Right. So stand behind that. Get rid of all these other thoughts. Yeah, yeah mean that's it. takeaway [UH] stop being guarded for reasons or whatever and saved and start letting people invest in you with real small asks. good thing. That's, that's take away this category. Go try it. That's what I'm asking here. Go try it. Think, think something somebody can help with even it's tiny or trivial. And then go ask them practice that because if you're especially you're you're a QA analyst or QA engineer or somebody like somebody like real low level a on software development team and like go over to like customer support or sales or something and go ask them for, know, hey, can I sit on your next call? Hey, can I, you know, ride over your shoulder while you're doing a support call something like that Yeah. At least they feel appreciated that somebody cares about what they do. And flip side of it is you'll be amazed at what you learn. Right? That example of testers, whoever is, you know, sitting in and listening to support calls. Right. You realize what the customers are actually feeling they're going through experiencing. So yeah, a quick review. the other thing you could like Go sit in a sales person's cube with our laptop. Go pull up the environment. Here's we're thinking of what you think about it? Like we're not necessarily to change the software based on how that one person thinks about getting feedback. But. We've asked them, hey have five minutes to just demo this super quick thing? Five minutes. What I'm saying is the ask for that five minutes, not even necessarily demo. You're now working out that muscle that otherwise people tech teams with like bosses that are, know, overwhelmed not looking out for, know, sponsorship opportunities, that kind stuff. You're exercising that muscle now that otherwise should be doing, know. Yeah, 100 percent. Yeah, I agree. So the real need is an invitation. change your frame reference where you're not perceiving it as manipulation. It is just invitation to do something. That's it. If you recognize the real need, then ask for help or ask for even you just want chat with somebody about Right that is not sign weakness. On contrary, it's a sign that you're taking ownership. Yeah, yeah Just remember high performers, they, they don't need less. They need better inputs. You know, best employees not independent. They're well supported. Sorry. time anyone says less, I hear[UH] eight teams and one product manager. It blows mind any time hear less. Sorry, that's that's not cool. So if no, that's not that's not even transition. So let know comments what's a small favor that someone may have asked you for that actually made you like them more. If can think one, let us know because I bet that you felt this from other side and never actually named it until you've heard our examples this category. Yeah. right. So we understand that asking is fair game but there is a fork road. So do you ask what helps with work or you ask what helps you? Because those not same thing. Absolutely So by the time most people finally do ask, they ask for the low hanging fruit. Oh, I thought appreciate putting hanging slip in low hanging fruit only a little little her fruit. How low hanging? that was a that a was she hasn't been here in thousand podcasts [UH] 's my gesture like low hanging fruit [UM] if anyone could talk into the microphone through her teeth, that was low hanging fruit. So by the time most people finally do ask, they ask for the low hanging fruit, the unblock this, make this decision, let people know about whatever. Right? That's fine, right? No problem. right. Sure The asks that actually move your career are the ones that fly at the boss's altitude. Okay, an intro here, sponsorship opportunity there, an invite into room that otherwise you wouldn't get into a shot the thing that is above your grade. What with the safety net of your boss team whatever, know, backing you those kind things. you're not just asking get unblocked. Now that know how to ask and you're comfortable with this tool. Now let's use it to kick you ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not just work. Yeah, Absolutely. There is a concept of sponsorship versus mentorship. And I've talked about this for a long time on podcast. I've never specifically named it as citation. I didn't look the Sylvia Ann Hewlett. don't know [UH] about this as citation. But the one I queried, this is name that came up. So I'm go look around anyway. Anyway, it's not important about this individual person, but it is important understand difference between sponsorship and mentorship. A mentorship great. You've got someone who's like kind taking under wing and who, you know, kind helps you and gives advice. Sage advice based on their experience perhaps. Right? Yeah. So mentors do. Right? Yeah. Sponsorship is quite different because sponsorship is they actually are looking you to slide into. opportunities for Yeah. Sponsors actually [UM] spend right there, you know, middle capital whatever to help you. They genuinely help you as opposed to here's what's worked for me in the past, which mentor might do. Right? They might even stress and say you should try Might work you. Right. But sponsors, the other hand, they're the ones that push you ahead. Right. So we're already past this. What's helping[UH] you know, your work to what is helping you. So the reason I wanted to highlight that was to point this category of your, your boss coming and asking, hey, need? What can help with? And most people will just think about the work I'm blocking that kind stuff. But now I just want to introduce the, plant seed of what are they doing to sponsor opportunities for you in your career to get ahead because you may not have manager that is like that. You may not have manager that is capable of doing that. You may work for someone one likes. You know, I've been there too and understanding that you're working for someone that can't get you ahead is a valuable information. Yeah. So you start wasting time there. Right. And try elsewhere. Right. That's the [UH] The bee buzzes over to a flower, sniffs at it. Ain't nothing there. Move on next hour. right. That's this is good category. But for, for good category home, there's steelman. There's always still. So the cynic says always closing for me[UH] that might sound selfish and self -centered little bit. But at end day, nobody's come you and say me do this for you. Yeah, you've yourself. Yeah, mean would sound selfish if the[UH] if the the that promise of like get your degree, work for company and retire there whatever and that hadn't totally collapsed like decades ago. Right. You know it. Then I would have different take on this. Sure. That's that. That's gone long time ago. Yeah, it's gone[UH] we're sending out gold watches. the academic on this say, well, use where you can find sponsorship which may not be your direct manager that drives your advancement, not your, not the mentorship. The mentorship might drive skill and might drive other things, but like it won't drive advancement or least maybe at the pace that sponsorship will drive advancement. I would say that one. I'm kind of like a little bit fence on that one. I feel like. So want make sure this isn't something we're saying is A or B. It's not. It's both. Right? The mentorship helps you in the here now sponsorship helps you here on outwards right forwards in future. So you need both. And then the last one here, the practitioner would say, hey, grabbing credit, always looking grab and grab the credit. That just poisons the team which which listen, that's a, mean, that's good steelman. It's good steelman. Yes you know, people who do this by way, you'll recognize that when they say I led the team to do this. Right? Right always, they never have the team as their leading sort of you know, sentence. They'll be, I always. Right. Me, me, me. So these people are taking credit. Does it poison the team? doesn't help. Right? Yeah. contrary, if you're in team like that, when someone's doing that all time, how feel? Let us know comments. Seriously, know like you do about that? Yeah. yeah, like advocacy. It's not credit grabbing. It's visibility. So it's not theft. It's visibility. that's tough one for lot people grasp is that you're just elevating because again you've on dev teams, no one ever talks about elevating your visibility. You do, everything as a team. And when do everything team, like lot dev teams, like have one two people that get used presenting everything, you know, and they become the visible people or maybe the team lead grabs and presents because they're the people person on the team. this is a tough one that the better teams do some kind rotation where the person that was like primary developer feature whatever presents it during the demo. And they take they basically take turns, you know, and the lead has idea that has kind eye on like if anyone's trying you know, if anyone's always like the secondary or anyone's taking backseat whatever, then they'll kind of push that person to the front or whatever. But teams usually the good teams usually take care this. The bad teams. Yeah, understand bad teams. Yes, they're ones where like, well, leads presenting everything. there basically are developers the team as far management concerned. Right? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. That's good one advocacy. Though the work asks here, they're the baseline. That's the way want to think about this just make sure that the asks are still happening. Those are work related. And then the advocacy ones, the sponsorship ones over beyond. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. that's this category. So there a takeaway here, which I mean we just gave enough, but there's more. Stop spending every ask on the work directly start spending some on your own career trajectory. And remember that you want to, you want lead with the unblocked. But then you want to, to go above beyond kind what we just said. know. Yeah, absolutely. Ask for intros, ask for sponsorship, ask for, know ask things are career related, not just focusing work. Right. Okay. So us know comments. What is the when was the last time that you did work and nobody upstairs heard about it because you didn't ask your boss to carry it up. What was that work? What happened after the fact? It's you know, let know. So now all this assumes that can actually think ask the moment. And we already know that your brain goes blank. Let's fix that situation. so here's nuts and bolts fix. The reason that mind goes blank when boss asks what you need is that you have needs. Everything's everything's cool. That's yeah. Yeah. I think talked about little bit earlier podcast. The reason is you can't think it the moment. in this situation. can't think it moment There is something that you can rely on if you've been, if you've been working on agile teams all these years, which is you have a backlog of impediments that need be removed. You have backlog work needs be done. the organizational blockers and the things that are holding your team back and then slowly working through and improving your team because you're not doing that. are doing? I mean, Yeah. doing with life? that core, I'm to write down my impediments and then slowly churn through them. That's what you're use here. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're leading with the work during your one ones, what better place start than your impediment backlog. So congratulations. Just like a scrum master is responsible for causing the removal of impediments. Congratulations. You're now scrum master, right? You will also be out work soon. That's what I'm saying Thanks me. knew you. many. Right. That you're Yeah. Just like this maps directly to everything we've been doing. I would hope that none this is a shock anyone listening to this podcast. But if you do want shock, the cynic would say what now a complaint log. Now you got a list complaints. Oh boy, boy. All ever do complain [UM] That's right. get labeled whole list. that's exactly right. will get labeled Sounds like you're just complaining. yeah. Yeah. it's, and if you're this situation, recognize the the symptoms when you know your boss says hey Fred here, Mary here is be on your team for little while just to observe. They're not there just to observe folks. They're there to basically replace you in short term. Yeah. So beware you know, best part that, like the impediments, like these are systemic blockers. You can't anything about like why, why they on your list? Like really cynical. You think these complaints like you don't improve our team like what who hurt you. That's that's what to say in this. But say in Mike Miller accent[UH] but I'm not It's like you're going to not because it probably got edited out from earlier podcast when I into them. But like the practitioner here is going say the best asks are done the moment. Yeah. you can't predict them can't write them down because they're done the moment which I'm kind like it. It sounds good. But I stop and just like think critically minute I'm but are they like yeah, they're done moment. But can't you just like write them down moment and then they become part backlog and then they're not moment anymore? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So when we say backlog, don't necessarily mean have have it your[UM] way you don't have. Yeah, right. It could just be some scratchings right on a notepad so that you don't forget, so that you don't freeze. have some prompts go off of. That's right. We keep forgetting. Oh boy. It's a listen, it's not a grievance log. OK, it's, you could put labels to this. that need to keep because things that slow down and things you're just dealing with. You're living house and the roof is leaking certain spot and this doesn't work and your dishwasher doesn't work or whatever. do you want write those down get them resolved just live there and have your quality life suffer? you probably should at least write them down. Right? So that one day someone asks, what can I for you? can point like, I really hate that the roof leaks[UH] that and can prioritize the first thing do first. Right? So it's not grievance law. Don't let someone tell you it's a complaint list. So keep running. Let's keep thinking. the one I do have to call out as maybe you do think about is you might to curate the list little bit before you publicize. Because yes, you don't want when someone's like, what need help with? You probably shouldn't rattle off 10 things. You probably should pick one, maybe two at the absolutely most if they're both crucial. Just prioritize those based on impact. You should well your way. Right? Right But also like depending talking to, you could pull off that list. The one that fits the audience the best. Right. Where likely to get some help right from its source? Yeah yeah, that's a, that's a, that's one that don't hear talked about anywhere of pulling the right, the right item to be unblocked off the list in front the right audience at right time. think to certain extent that is a it's a part of experience really. know, the longer you've been doing this, you kind learn that target. So there is a takeaway here and it is to stop stop improvising your needs on the spot and to start pulling from backlog. even that backlog is written on back of a napkin. Sure. Is I personally friend putting things down as bullets a sticky note and put them the side my monitor. So I don't forget. That's right. That's right let know comments[UH] do you keep running asks list? And if you do what some what are some things in it that you've gotten resolved because they're in the list So let us know. Maybe someone maybe someone comments can unblock you. Probably not, but maybe there's hope. So started this whole thing with one tiny expensive word. Nothing. That's right. So let's finish with [UH] something equally expensive here is the five line cheat cheat that you can copy from this podcast was one things that think this is the first podcast that is going go up with this new ending of the sticky note that you can just copy that can put side your monitor for the next week or two. Right? To try to ingrain a habit in head. And this one them there there's home next it. There's me next it. All right. Here's home. There's me. This all takeaways from this broadcast. Number one, a sharp ask is flex. It's not confession. Number two, never let nothing be your final answer. Number three, a real need is invitation. It's not manipulation. So get over yourself. Right. Number four, lead with the on block and bank on the intro. With intro is the what what can you do your career? Sure. Number five, keep running ask list. So you're never caught flat footed. That's right. never got flat footed by your dex bonus. we started with one sentence. Nothing. I'm good And we ended with this little monitor sticky. Hopefully everyone can use that and kind of develop the skill and get better at asking for things and getting better at developing real human relationships. That's saying. Absolutely. So I just like to get a yes and on that one say next time your boss asks what you need, don't answer fast and so smart. And can do that from what you've learned today on this podcast. That's right. That's right Because people who grow fastest They're the ones who know exactly what they need. I need about tree fitting. Yeah, always. If you also need tree fitting, like and subscribe, And let us know down there in the comments below. What else you'd like us tackle? They hunger because [UH] that's the next podcast after the next one, I'm so hungry